Punishments
Draft the punishment, live with the consequences. The fine print below defines exactly what counts as completing each punishment.
Punishment Draft Rules
Your punishment is part of the draft strategy. Choose carefully—you only get one.
The draft now has 15 rounds.
You must draft one punishment, and you can select it in any round of your choosing.
Punishments range from mildly annoying to much worse, so when you draft yours matters.
There are 17 punishments to choose from, and each team can draft only one. With 14 teams, even if you wait until the end, you will never be forced to take the three punishments you consider the worst.
If you are in the Sacko Game—meaning you finish in the bottom two—you will have to complete a punishment.
If you lose the Sacko Game, you must complete the punishment you drafted.
If you win the Sacko Game, you may choose either the punishment you drafted or the punishment drafted by the loser.
Sexy Calendar Photo Shoot
Create a calendar photo shoot. The final calendar must be printed or emailed to all league members.
Share with the leagueBowling Marathon
Bowl until your cumulative score reaches at least half of the league winner’s total regular-season point total. Last year’s winner scored 1,549 points, making the target 775 points. At roughly 130 per game, that is about 6 games.
Target: 775 pointsApology Video
Minimum 5 minutes. Must wear a collared shirt and tie. Must be filmed in a public place with passersby visible in the background.
Minimum: 5 minutesShotgun 3 Sodas
Shotgun three 12 oz sodas before next year’s draft. Any type of soda is allowed. They do not need to be completed all at once or consecutively.
3 × 12 ozShotgun XX Beers
The number of beers equals your final postseason place in the league. They do not need to be completed all at once or consecutively.
Number = final placeRoom-Temperature Soup Challenge
Eat 2 cans of room-temperature soup. The soup cannot be cold or hot, cannot be altered, and no additional ingredients may be added. Complete both cans in one day.
2 cans • 1 dayRun a 10K in a Costume
Run a 10K wearing an inflatable costume, such as a sumo wrestler or a similar air suit.
10KHot Wings Challenge
Get the spiciest wings available from Buffalo Wild Wings or a local wing restaurant and eat 3 wings.
3 hottest wingsEat XX Hot Dogs
Eat the required number of hot dogs before next year’s draft. The number of hot dogs equals 3 times your regular-season losses.
3 × regular-season lossesCold Plunge for 5 Minutes
Spend 5 minutes in a tub with water and 60 lbs of ice.
5 minutes • 60 lbs iceGet a Tattoo or Piercing
Your choice of location and what it is. For a tattoo, the minimum size must be larger than your thumb.
Your choiceBeer Mile
Complete the beer mile in under 20 minutes: run a 0.25-mile lap, drink a beer, and repeat for four laps total. Total distance is 1 mile with 4 beers.
Under 20 minutesDo an Open Mic
Perform at an open mic and invite league members and/or record the performance. Minimum 5 minutes, unless you are booed off the stage first.
Minimum: 5 minutesTake the SAT
Take the SAT and score at least 1,000. Maximum of 3 attempts.
1,000 score • 3 attempts maxWax Your Legs
Wax both legs.
Both legsStay at a Diner for 12 Hours
Stay at a diner for 12 hours. Subtract 1 hour for every beer or pancake/waffle consumed.
12 hours minus food/drinksGolf With Randos
Play a round of golf with at least 2 random people. You cannot play with a golf ball and must pretend to hit and play your ball for the entire round. You may bring one friend.
Minimum: 2 randos